was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
