Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
