Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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