i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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