Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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