I looked at my own cervix.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
