Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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