is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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