Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
if only i could text you this smell
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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