Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
