To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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