Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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