Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
