He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
