Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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