R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
be right there i have to get my cape
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
