shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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