sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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