i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
