He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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