he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
