I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
