So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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