I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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