He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
