I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
