Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
