He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
