girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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