She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Your cock deserves a montage
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
