Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
