I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
