The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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