Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
