Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
