And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We have started to decorate penises.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
