is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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