he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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