Duck Duck Cougar?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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