I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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