This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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