What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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