I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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