Dual....:-)
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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