I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
