i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
