That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
