hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
