i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
