You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize