who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
