and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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