Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
