I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize