sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
