i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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