I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
