I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
