Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
